How many lives does a soul live, and why does it forget them all? According to the Yoga Vasistha, when Leeladevi looks back with her pure awakened vision, she clearly sees that she has lived eight hundred lives — from a celestial maiden to a mosquito, from an elephant to a deer — and realizes that every single birth was nothing but a notion shaped by the mind, while Brahman alone is the source of them all.
We’ve all wondered at some point what we were before this life, how many forms we might have lived through. We tend to think of birth as a single event, but we forget how many hidden layers lie behind it.
In this discourse that Sage Vashishtha gives to Sri Rama, Leeladevi is granted the rare chance to see her own past lives directly. By Goddess Saraswati’s grace, this divine vision opens up deep answers to questions we all carry — what birth really means, and who the soul truly is.
Leela and Saraswati Vanish Inside the Brahmin’s House
Inside that Brahmin household in the village of Giri, Leeladevi and Saraswati stood together, invisible to every eye. The people of the house had no idea what was happening around them. They could not see the two forest goddesses standing right before them, yet the whole house seemed to fill with a quiet radiance the moment they arrived.
The family began talking among themselves. “Ah, the forest goddesses must have blessed us with their presence and vanished again!” they said. They kept returning to that thought, retelling it to one another, and slowly their sorrows faded as they slipped back into the rhythm of ordinary life.
Leela and Saraswati remained there, suspended in subtle form in the space above the courtyard. Leeladevi realized, with a start, that she had once lived in that very house in Giri as its lady of the home for many years, and that she had died there only a short while ago. Seeing her a little shaken by this, Saraswati smiled gently.
How Can Two Bodiless Beings Hold a Conversation?
As he listened to this part of the story, a question rose in Sri Rama’s mind. Both women were without physical bodies — so how could a conversation even take place between them? He turned to Vashishtha, eager to understand.
Sri Rama: Great sage! Both of them are bodiless. How do they speak to each other? Where are these events even unfolding?
Sage Vashishtha: Rama, think of how events unfold in a dream, or purely through intention — they happen without any body at all, don’t they? In the same way, though Leela and Saraswati exist only as subtle beings, the exchange between them continues to take shape. Even without a physical form, a current of understanding — very much like what passes between two people in a dream or through pure will — keeps flowing between them.
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Saraswati’s Question — You Are Brahman Itself
Saraswati turned to Leeladevi and reminded her once again of a truth she had spoken earlier. As long as ignorance persists, she said, this illusion of a world keeps playing out — but the instant true knowledge dawns, neither the world nor anything seen within it remains.
Saraswati: Leela, you know why we came here. Has what I told you about your past births settled clearly in your mind now? All of this is nothing but Brahman itself, nothing else. As long as ignorance lasts, the illusion of the world keeps unfolding. The moment true knowledge dawns, this world disappears, and so does everything seen within it. What remains then is only the Self, pervading everything, entirely on its own. Do you still hold any doubts about this?
Leela’s Doubt — Why Couldn’t I See My Husband?
Leeladevi voiced the doubt still lingering in her mind. She recalled how, in her earlier life, after her husband Padma died and was reborn as Vidooratha in the city of Chidakasha, the people there could not see her — yet other kin of hers somehow could.
Leeladevi: O purifier of the worlds! I once traveled to that city of Chidakasha, where the soul of my husband Padma now rules as king. Why couldn’t the people there see me? I hadn’t even willed ‘let them not see me’ — and yet the rest of my kin could see me clearly. Jyeshtha Sharma, too, had wished, ‘If they happen to see me, I will speak with them’ — his form carried that same intention, you know!
The Absence of Firm Practice Was the Reason
Saraswati explained the reason behind that doubt. She told Leela that the sense of duality — the deep-seated feeling ‘I am the queen’ — still lingered strongly within her, and that as long as practice remained unsteady, the belief ‘I am this body’ could not simply fall away.
Saraswati: Ah, that! At that time, your practice hadn’t yet become firm. The sense of duality — ‘I am Leela, the queen’ — still ran deep within you. As long as this practice remains weak, the firm belief ‘I am only the body called Leela’ cannot dissolve. That is precisely why true will did not arise in you then. Even though you wished for it, your husband and the rest of the assembly gathered there simply could not see you.
The Strange Play of Countless Worlds
Leeladevi was struck by just how bewildering this play of countless worlds truly was. She recalled that in the very sky above that house in the village of Giri, the Brahmin had first become her husband, and later, in that same place, had returned as King Padma, ruling a vast kingdom, and had married her all over again.
In that very palace he had died, she said, and yet in that same palace — now belonging to an entirely different realm — he ruled again as Vidooratha, emperor of a vast empire. That so many separate worlds could be folded into the sky above a single small house struck Leeladevi as a truly astonishing mystery of creation.
Leeladevi: How strange this play of countless worlds truly is! In the very sky above this shrine in the village of Giri, this Brahmin became my husband. And here again, in this same place, he shed his Brahmin body, became King Padma, ruled over a vast kingdom, and married me once more. We lived together as husband and wife for eighty years. In this very palace, he died. And now, in this same palace, in an entirely different realm, he rules as emperor of a vast empire under the name Vidooratha. How can so many separate worlds exist within the sky above one small house? Mother, what a wonder this creation is!
Many Husbands, Many Lives
Saraswati revealed a crucial truth to Leeladevi. She told her that, seen from the standpoint of ordinary experience, Leela had actually had many husbands — and that in the very sequence of events they were now witnessing, there were three.
Saraswati: My daughter, chaste one of this earth! You have had many husbands. Even in the events we are witnessing right now, there are three. The first among them was a Brahmin named Vashishtha. He turned to ash and was reborn as a king named Padma. It is his very corpse lying covered in flowers in your palace right now! And it is he whom you saw, in subtle form, ruling a great kingdom in this same world under the name Vidooratha.
Lost in the Great Ocean of Worldly Existence
Saraswati continued, explaining that Vidooratha was now caught adrift, deluded, in the vast ocean called worldly existence, pulled apart by an endless tide of pleasures. Sunk deep in that great darkness, she said, he carried out his royal duties with utter conviction, never once waking from the illusion.
Saraswati: Vidooratha is now caught adrift, deluded, in the vast waters of that ocean called worldly existence. He is torn apart, lost in an endless tide of pleasures. Sunk deep in that great darkness, he carries out his royal duties with utter conviction, never once waking from the illusion. Now tell me, dear one — just as fragrant particles are carried by the wind from one place to another, you too have entered countless bodies until now, and have shed each one in turn. In each of those lives, you had many kinsmen of your own. You cry out, ‘My husband — I must see him, I cannot bear to be apart from him.’ But you, who have lived through so many lives, whom exactly do you mean when you say ‘my husband’? Where should I take you now?
To a Vision of Knowledge, This World Is Pure Space
Saraswati explained that worldly existence appears one way from an ordinary point of view, and entirely another way when seen in terms of these countless universes. She taught that every unfolding sequence of events is nothing but consciousness creating itself, and that when seen through the eyes of true knowledge, all these worldly stages stand directly facing one another. Seen through the ordinary eyes of worldly experience, though, one may seem separated from another by countless millions of leagues — but to the vision of knowledge, all of it is simply the nature of space itself.
She gave an example: just as countless motes of light appear within a beam of sunlight streaming through a window into a room, so too does that vast consciousness hold, within every single atom of itself, entire clusters of creation unfolding. This whole gathering of universes may seem, on the surface, to move with immense difficulty and dense, solid weight — but seen from the ultimate truth, all of it together, she said, would not amount to even a single grain of dust.
Saraswati: Imagine gathering all kinds of gems in one place — the mingling of the many-colored rays streaming out from that pile would look just like a forest. In the same way, these worlds too appear as they do purely through the power of illusion. Seen through the lens of true contemplation, this earth and everything like it turn out to be nothing but emptiness itself. Have you noticed how waves rise again and again on a lake’s surface, only to dissolve back into it? In just the same way, within that lake called the consciousness of knowledge, the experiences shaped by place and time keep rising as countless waves of worldly existence, only to dissolve back once more.
Leeladevi Sees Her Eight Hundred Lifetimes
Through Saraswati’s compassionate grace, Leeladevi was granted a divine vision that let her see her own past lives directly. She understood that she could now see, right here in this very moment, her many past lives unfolding before her — and that everything Saraswati had told her was, in fact, entirely true.
Leeladevi came to realize that her present life was neither pure nor dull by nature, but carried the mark of restless passion, as she now recalled it. Rooted in Brahman itself, having emerged from Brahman, she saw that she had been born through countless different wombs — and now, with perfect clarity, she could see that she had lived eight hundred lives before this one.
Leeladevi: O Vani! O radiant one, adorned with every glory! Through the power of your grace, I can now see, right here, in this very moment, so many of my earlier lives. Everything you have told me, I now know to be true. This present life of mine is neither pure nor dull in nature — it feels, as I recall it now, marked by restless passion.
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From a Celestial Maiden to a Human Being
Leeladevi began recounting her lives one by one. She had once been born a Vidyadhari, a celestial maiden, she said, and later took a human birth with a mind clouded by wicked desires. After that came a life as the wife of a serpent king, then a forest-dwelling tribal woman, then a creeper-vine winding through the wilderness, then the daughter of a sage, then a mongoose, then a bird, then a deer — one life after another, each with its own story.
Through the merit of good deeds, she said, she had once ruled as a king for a hundred years; through the weight of sins, she had been born an elephant and lived eighteen years; as a bird she had escaped a hunter’s net after being caught in it; and as a deer, she had finally died at the hands of a hunter.
Leeladevi: Once, I became a Vidyadhari. My mind clouded by wicked desires, I took a human birth. Then, in another turn of worldly existence, I became the wife of a serpent king. After that, I became a tribal woman, wandering the forests clad in leaves. In that life, having abandoned the compassion and kindness that a human being should hold, I was reborn a creeper-vine in a forest. But because I had lived within the grounds of a sage’s sacred hermitage, when I was burned by fire, I was reborn as that very sage’s daughter. Yet through the merit of good deeds, I then became a king and spent a hundred years as one. After that, through the weight of sinful deeds, I was born a mongoose. As a bird, I was once caught in a hunter’s net, and I escaped it somehow. As a deer, I finally died at the hands of a hunter.
From a Fish to a Mosquito, Endless Lives of Suffering
Leeladevi went even deeper into the chain of her lives. She had once drifted through water as a fish, she said, and had ridden along on a tortoise’s back; once, she had barely escaped a fisherman’s spear and darted back into the water.
After that, she said, she had been born a tribal woman who drank coconut liquor, then in her next life a sarus crane, and later, in the heavens, an apsara caught up in the pleasures of love with young celestial men. She had lived a long life as a tortoise, and for a while had swung from a branch as a royal swan perched high in a tree.
Swaying back and forth on a silk-cotton tree, she said, she had watched mosquitoes so intently that the very inclination toward them shaped her next birth as a mosquito; after that she had become a creeper, swaying up and down in the current of a mountain stream. Following that, she was born in the city of the Vidyadharas — and, she said, just as a deer races frantically after the illusion of water shimmering in a mirage, she too had lived through life after life steeped in sorrow. She could not even begin to describe how deep that delusion had gone, how much she had endured — the pain of it, she confessed, lay beyond words.
Leeladevi: As a fish, I drifted through the water and rode along on a tortoise’s back. Once, I barely escaped a fisherman’s spear and darted back into the water. After that, I was born a tribal woman who drank coconut liquor. In my next life, I became a sarus crane. Then, in the heavens, I was born an apsara, caught up in the pleasures of love with young celestial men. After that, I was born a tortoise and lived a long life. For a while, I swung on a branch as a royal swan perched high in a tree. Then, swaying back and forth on a silk-cotton tree, I watched the mosquitoes so intently that this very inclination shaped my next birth as a mosquito. Following that, I became a creeper, swaying up and down in the current of a mountain stream. After that, I was born in the city of the Vidyadharas. Ah, Mother of the worlds, are you listening? Just as a deer races frantically after the illusion of water shimmering in a mirage, I too lived through life after life steeped in sorrow. I cannot even begin to say how deep that delusion went, how much I endured. That anguish, that torment — it truly lies beyond words.
The Sequence of Past Lives Leeladevi Recalled
| Form of Birth | Experience in That Life |
|---|---|
| Vidyadhari (celestial maiden) | Human birth with a mind clouded by wicked desires |
| Wife of a serpent king | Married life as the serpent king’s wife |
| Tribal woman | Wandering the forests clad in leaves |
| Creeper-vine | A life in the forest devoid of compassion and kindness |
| Sage’s daughter | Burned by fire |
| King | Ruled a kingdom for a hundred years through merit |
| Mongoose | Born through the weight of sinful deeds |
| Bird, deer | Caught by a hunter, and finally killed |
| Fish, tortoise, royal swan | A wandering life in water and upon trees |
| Mosquito, creeper | Small, unstable lives |
Spiritual Meaning
Behind Leeladevi’s recollection of her eight hundred lifetimes lies a profound truth — the Self never changes; only the forms surrounding it do. The Self, whose very nature is Brahman, appears as countless bodies only because of ignorance, when in truth it is one and undivided.
As Saraswati explains, every event in this world is nothing but consciousness creating itself. The idea that countless universes can be folded into the sky above a single small house is a striking illustration of how all our experiences are simply notions shaped by the mind. Like the motes of light visible within a single beam of sunlight, infinite creations lie hidden within each atom.
As long as the sense of ‘I’ and ‘mine’ remains strong, the Self keeps forgetting its true nature and keeps searching for attachments, life after life. Only when true knowledge dawns can one finally step out of this endless cycle of illusion.
Pause for a moment and consider that the relationships, sorrows, and desires we hold onto right now may themselves be just another passing ‘life,’ forever changing. Try, each day, to spend a little time discerning what is eternal from what is merely temporary.
Chapter Summary
In the Brahmin’s house in the village of Giri, the invisible Leela and Saraswati converse with each other even in their bodiless state. Saraswati teaches Leeladevi the truth of Brahman, explaining that it was her lack of firm spiritual practice that kept her unseen at Vidooratha’s court. She reveals the astonishing play of countless universes and the true nature of the waves of worldly existence, and finally grants Leeladevi a divine vision. Through that vision, Leeladevi witnesses, one by one, her eight hundred past lives — from a celestial maiden to a mosquito — and recalls the boundless sorrow she endured, a suffering that lies beyond words.
Scripture Notes
- Main Message: The Self is one, yet ignorance makes it appear as countless bodies across countless lives. Once true knowledge of Brahman dawns, this endless cycle of illusion comes to an end.
- Philosophical Teaching: Worldly existence is like countless universes folded into the sky above a single small house — infinite from the standpoint of ordinary experience, yet pure space itself to the eyes of true knowledge.
- Connection to the Next Chapter: Leeladevi will continue recounting her past lives, revealing in greater depth the causes that led her to her present birth.
Just as fragrant particles are carried by the wind from one place to another, the Self enters countless bodies and, in time, leaves each one behind.
As long as practice remains unsteady, the belief ‘I am this body’ cannot dissolve.
That countless universes exist within the sky above a single small house — this alone is the wonder of creation.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many lives did Leeladevi recall living?
Leeladevi clearly saw, through the divine vision granted by Saraswati’s grace, that she had lived eight hundred lives before this one. She was born in many forms — a celestial maiden, a human being, a serpent king’s wife, a tribal woman, a creeper-vine, a king, an elephant, a bird, a deer, a fish, a tortoise, and a mosquito, among others.
Why couldn’t the people at Vidooratha’s court see Leeladevi?
Saraswati explained that the sense of duality — the feeling ‘I am the queen’ — still lingered strongly within Leeladevi at that time. Since the belief ‘I am this body’ cannot dissolve until spiritual practice becomes firm, true will did not arise in her then, and that is why the assembly could not see her.
What does the Yoga Vasistha teach about the creation of countless universes?
The Yoga Vasistha teaches that countless separate universes can exist within the sky above a single small house. Saraswati explains that this is simply consciousness creating itself, and that to the vision of true knowledge, all of it is nothing but the nature of space itself.
How did the bodiless Leela and Saraswati converse with each other?
Sage Vashishtha explains that just as events unfold in dreams or through pure intention without any physical body, the conversation between Leela and Saraswati, existing only in subtle form, likewise continued to take shape.
What does the metaphor of light-motes in a sunbeam signify?
This metaphor suggests that just as countless motes of light appear within a beam of sunlight streaming through a window into a room, so too does that vast consciousness hold entire clusters of creation unfolding within every single atom.
How did Leeladevi describe her present life?
Leeladevi said her present life was neither pure nor dull by nature, but felt, as she recalled it, marked by restless passion.
What is Vidooratha’s condition in the great ocean of worldly existence?
Saraswati explained that Vidooratha was caught adrift, deluded, in the vast ocean of worldly existence, torn apart by an endless tide of pleasures, and that sunk deep in that great darkness, he carried out his royal duties with utter conviction, never once waking from the illusion.
Conclusion
This episode, in which Leeladevi recalls her journey through eight hundred lifetimes, shows just how many forms the one Self can wander through under the weight of ignorance. Leeladevi’s own words — that the delusion and the suffering she endured lie beyond words — leave a lasting impression on the heart. In the next episode, we will see how Leeladevi reveals the rest of her past lives, and the deeper causes that led her to her present birth.
